Thinking of them
by dark hope1
Summary: Inu-yasha's thoughts of both Kagome and Kikyou


Kagome  
  
Kikyo  
  
.  
  
Kikyo  
  
Kagome  
  
.  
  
Feh! This is getting me nowhere! Stupid women. This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if women are really all that important in a man's life. Or a youkai's for that matter.  
  
Forcing me to choose between them. Can't they see how hard it is for me to choose between them? Can't they see that in a way they are the same person?! I mean they share the same God damn soul for Kami's sake! Kikyo is Kagome! And Kagome is Kikyo! They are the same person! In a way. except that one is made out of dirt and leaves and whatever the ugly youkai made for Kikyo's freakishly living body.  
  
I admit I still love Kikyo. And I also love Kagome. I love both.  
  
I don't want to choose between them. But I have to. They are making me do so. Not just Kikyo and Kagome, but Sango, Miroku, and Shippo as well.  
  
I guess they are tired of always seeing Kagome crying over me when I go see Kikyo whenever she comes by. And I hate to see Kagome cry, but damnit! Why can't they just leave me alone about it!? They know I love Kagome already! So stop telling me that I need to forget about Kikyo!  
  
Kikyo was my first love. I don't think that you can ever forget your first love no matter what. I don't think that you can ever stop loving that person either. Because a part of you will always love that person no matter what you try to do to get rid of it. A part of your heart will always be with that person since that person was the first to ever hold your heart. So you see, I can never stop loving Kikyo.  
  
And I never will.  
  
No matter how much I love Kagome.  
  
I owe that much to her.  
  
I promised that I will go to hell with her and I plan to keep that promise. Not now though. Now I plan to collect all of the Shikon no Tama shards, kill Naraku for what he did to me, Kikyo, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and all the other humans, youkai, and whatever that Naraku did. That includes Kagome. Because of him, Kagome now has to miss her on what she calls "school". Which I don't see is of any importance.  
  
She told me that you go to school to learn how to "live in the world". How to "survive". But she has been surviving in the world just fine if you ask me. She doesn't need to take all these "test" since she is smart. But I won't tell her that I think so.  
  
But my thoughts are shifting else where.  
  
I love Kikyo.  
  
I love Kagome.  
  
But I am forced to choose only one.  
  
Kikyo is strong. Very very strong. She can use her powers to its full potential. But she keeps her emotions in check to much. When I first met her, I wonder what she really thought and not just what she says. Because it seems that sometimes she didn't want to bother anyone with her problems. So much like Kagome. But if you push Kikyo hard enough, you'll see what she has been hiding underneath all those walls she placed herself in, and boy you'll really find yourself shock to see what you'll discovered. I sure was.  
  
But if she is willing to show her emotions willingly, she can really give off emotions. Like when she is mad or just plains hates you. Like when she first came back alive and thought that I was the one who killed her 50 years ago. Boy did she ever have it in of me there. And she still does.  
  
Kagome is a little bit different form Kikyo. She lets others know what her emotions are. When she is very happy, she hugs Shippo and her happiness goes to over to other people too, and when she is mad she SITS me!! But she is usually happy. She always smiles, unlike Kikyo. But when Kikyo smiles, it's special.  
  
Kagome is also very strong. Very freakishly strong. She has the power to SIT me! But she can't control her miko powers yet. But that doesn't mean that her powers are let loose and destroying everything in sight. Her powers are more like in a sleeping state expect it awakens when she needs it and is able to control it. She is also very kind, caring, and loving.  
  
So they are two very different women, but at the same time they are the same. I think that is has to do with the way they were raised and the environments in which they lived.  
  
I mean I think that Kikyo could have been like Kagome if she grew up in Kagome's time. She could have been more caring and lets her feeling out more often than she did before. Kagome could have been like Kikyo if she grew up here in this time. Placing walls around herself. They could have been like each other if they both switched lives. Kikyo was trained from birth to be a powerful miko and to protect the Shikon no Tama at all costs. Kagome, she. she. Who knows what Kagome did in her time growing up? I know that she went to her "school" and that she had a loving family. So of course she is different from Kikyo.  
  
I think that Kagome is just the suppressed form of Kikyo. What I mean is that Kagome is the person that couldn't be, but wanted to be. Couldn't because of the way of her life is that she has to properly protect the Shikon no Tama. And Kikyo is the form in which Kagome could be like if she was very dedicated to one thing her whole life. Well that's what I think anyways.  
  
Both could have been each other if the circumstances were different. One very nice and caring, the other, nice but stony too. Both love me. A hanyou. Who would have of thought that two mikos would fall for a hanyou. I must be the luckiest half demon ever. Either that or the unluckiest one since both are willing to kill each other if given the chance.  
  
So I love Kikyo and I love Kagome. Both are the same and yet both are different.  
  
The reality of it all, even though both try to deny it, is that both have the same soul. And it's the soul that both have that I love. You can't make me choose between both of them since both are really the same, but a different face of the same person. So I'll go to hell with Kikyo. But I'll also go with Kagome. I'll go to hell with them both. And I'll love the both of them for eternity. 


End file.
